Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
