My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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