so that wasnt chicken after all
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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