R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
