Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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