Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
