It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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