I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
