I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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