If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
