shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
