shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was confusing and full of hummus
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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