you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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