I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
