Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
