could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We just shotgunned beers for America
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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