i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to