The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
