i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up