on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?