Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.