it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for