highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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