obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize