I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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