So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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