either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
