remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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