note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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