I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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