and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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