We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a dumb baby whore.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
