Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
