i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
