We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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