But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
40s are totally the cure
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
