He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
