i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
