My first STD was from a foam party
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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