Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
