i jhust puked up my retainher.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize