dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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