Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
