Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
