My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize