I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
