Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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