So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
