And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
