Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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