now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
