Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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