Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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