You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
