Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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