Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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