Where is the hickey?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
