the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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